And Visions of Sugarplums Lying Passed Out On The Couch

The lovely Lindsay recently caused a nostalgic stir amongst KPTV alum by sharing some vintage pics of a particularly besotted night at a certain Ms. Wilson's Northwest Portand condo.

Unfortunately for the dignity of all those involved (not to mention Ms. Wilson's neighbors), the night was dedicated to the time-honored tradition of Century Club induction.

For those of you not familiar with the game, I have no idea how you're reading my blog; if you spent more than twenty consecutive minutes with me between the years 1996 and 2007 I have begged you to attempt the Century Club at least seven times. Most of you caved at least twice.

Regardless, How Join the Club:

1. Find the shittiest domestic beer available and purchse enough of it to kill one grizzly bear per Century Club participant. Now purchase one more 12-pack.

2. Invite only those persons who won't let you (A) drunk dial your girlfriend from 8th grade and talk about feelings, (B) take a cab into the city and get that sweet tattoo you just thought of, or (C) shop on eBay again. And from personal experience, be sure to deny entry to any "friend of a friend."

3. Pop one of DJ Fat Gallant's patented Century Club mixes into the tape deck.

4. Admonish DJ Fat Gallant for being one of six living people to still make mixtapes.

5. Take a shot of ever-warmer beer every 60 seconds (each song change) for the next hour and 40 minutes. As per the house rules, bathroom breaks are strictly forbidden until song #50 and any skipped shots are punishable by an extra shot or, if you're Shannyn Sossamon, the removal of an article of clothing.

6. At song #100 collect your trophy.

7. Cancel any plans you may have for the next 72 hours that would require a functioning brainstem.

My "now stick your tongue out" pose is unconvincing;

I think I may actually be preparing to harf on Lindsay.

Absent from the above photo is Audio Aaron who, in a stupifying bit of irony, had something wrong with his liver and couldn't make it out.

To right that wrong, I spent the last two days holed up in my Oakland apartment drinking bootleg eggnog and bringing the afore-mentioned Century Club Mix into the 21st century [barely]. There are even some subtle shifts in the track listing since the last go round in honor of Audio and, specifically, his stint at NESN.

Of course, you'll have make it to #100 to appreciate it, and by then you'd be lucky if you can still spell NESN.

So Happy Holidays, bitches:

DJ BumperSmash (!) Presents:

A Very Special Century Club Reunion Tour Mix

(CLICK ABOVE TO DOWNLOAD)

Either we're deep in the game or a ghost is punching Angelo in the face.

BONUS: On the KPTV alum page see if you can spot the asshole who thought picture day was tomorrow. Hint: it's me.