Interweb? No. Night Terrors? Oh yes.

After months of my taking advantage of the unsecured wireless network known as "WENUS," Casa du Nathiana is without access to the web, severely crippling my fantasy-sporting, blogging, Skyping, emailing, music downloading, Amazon.com-ing, and celebrity nip-slip perusing. I refuse to give Comcast any more of Briana's money, so until I find an alternative (or Jim "The Wenus" Wenuczowski returns from Thanksgiving break) my posting frequency will most likely flag.

Somehow you'll get by.

Update: two nights ago I had a nightmare of the 1st order, meaning that it was so intense that I both (1) woke up Dom-DeLuise-sweaty and (2) was too shaken up to go to the bathroom for 15 minutes for fear of the killer waiting in my closet even though I really had to go. In the hellish chimera, a killer known as The Wolfer was slicing up women with a bowie knife, collecting exactly 45 pounds of blood in a giant bag and resupplying their corpses with said blood via I.V. so that he could practice tearing into their flesh (hence the Wolfer), then writing songs about the killings and sending the recordings to local radio stations to mock the public.

Mr. Sandman, send me a dream!

Do you people have nightmares like these? Additionally, I have one or two plane crash death dreams per month. Surely this gets me a prescription to Valium or medical weed or something equally awesome that I don't know about.

For the record, the worst nightmare I ever had featured Ray Combs throwing me to the floor from the top of an unmattressed bunk bed and carving Satanic symbols into my chest with a giant carving knife before ultimately stabbing me through the heart with it. Two weeks later, back in reality, Ray-Ray hung himself with his bedding.

You know what that means.

Also for the record, I often dream about normal things like talking dogs and cars that can fly!